Concede the true part first
Give away what's true and you get to keep everything else.
Almost every argument against you contains something correct. Grant it in half a sentence. It costs nothing, it takes the heat out of the room, and it makes your disagreement with the REST of their point sound considered instead of reflexive.
Instead of
That's not what happened at all.
Try
You're right that I was late — and I don't think that's what this is about.
Try it today
Start one reply today with 'you're right that…' before your 'and'.
The science
Concession-then-refutation is the classic 'yes, but' structure of classical rhetoric; Mercier & Sperber (The Enigma of Reason, 2017) show people evaluate arguments better when they don't feel attacked.
Where you'd actually use it
- 🗣️ Everyday DisagreementsThis is the third time this friend has cancelled on the day. You like them and you don't want to lose them, but you're done preten…
- 🗣️ Everyday DisagreementsSunday lunch. A relative has just said something sweeping about your whole generation, and everyone is looking at you to either la…
Next lesson
- 📏 Ask what they're measuring by'Best' by what?
- 🎒 Know whose job it is to prove itThe person making the claim carries the bag.
- ⚖️ Steelman before you strikeBeat the strongest version of their argument, or you haven't beaten anything.