Don't fill the silence
The first one to speak after the number loses.
You've made your ask — the rent, the raise, the deadline. Now the silence. It feels unbearable and it's doing your work for you: the other person is deciding, and every word you add gives them a reason to say no. Sit in it. Count if you have to.
Instead of
…so, sixty-five? Or, I mean, sixty would be fine too, honestly, whatever works—
Try
I'd be looking at sixty-five. (silence.)
Try it today
After your next ask, count to ten in your head before you say another word.
The science
Negotiation research on the 'silence effect' (Curhan et al., 2022): pauses after offers improve outcomes. Voss teaches it as letting the other side 'fill the void'.
Where you'd actually use it
- 💷 Money & NegotiationA client has come in at half your rate over email. You want the work but not at that price, and you don't want to sound precious. …
- 💷 Money & NegotiationThe pressure play. You like the car; you don't like being rushed. You want to keep your leverage without walking away from somethi…
Next lesson
- 🎁 Lose the small point to win the big oneFighting every point makes you look like someone who fights every point.
- 👀 Argue to the room, not the opponentYou'll never convince the person you're arguing with. You might convince everyone watching.
- 🪞 Use their own wordsThe hardest evidence to argue with is what someone already said.